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About Deviant You'll Never UnderstandFemale/United Kingdom Recent Activity
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NANO2011 Extract
I watched out the window as the clouds drifted casually through the dark sky. The sun was slowly setting as day became night and I became more and more scared. I listened to the sound of the cars rushing along the busy main road, everyone with somewhere to go, whether it be home to their family or out to see their friends. What I'd give right now to be in my car off to my boyfriends for the night. Instead I'm led here, no place to run or hide. Thoughts of today fill my head, and thoughts of way back then. I thought the past was forgotten, done. Little did I know that it would come back to haunt me like this. I hadn't really meant to tell her what I did. I guess I got caught up in the story telling, trying to invoke at least some kind of reaction. I mean it was a pretty dramatic story, maybe overdramatic, which would have been fine had she kept it to herself. I knew I should never have told anybody, no matter how much they said I could trust them. I guess the pressure just got too much.
:iconyoullneverunderstand:YoullNeverUnderstand 1 0
How can you say that and then leave? Ignore me when I call your name. Knowing you've just hurt me so bad. I can feel the paranoia kicking in. I've tried to avoid this for so long. I really have but it's hard. I can't keep tabs on you, but I still keep trying. I wish I could take control of what you do. Make this easier, make my pain go away. Trouble is I know that would hurt you more and destroy whatever 'us' we have left. My eyes sting like hell from tears that can't come out. It feels like I cry too much but not enough. I know all you'll do is laugh at me. I guess that's what hurts the most.
:iconyoullneverunderstand:YoullNeverUnderstand 1 0
Kian and Scarlett
Ross, Holly and I eat our sandwiches on the grass. Kian laughs.
"I'm not sure of anything" he says.
The ache in the pit of my stomach is back and the light is fading, streaking the sky with ice.
"Well I didn't promise exactly" Scarlett says
She's been looking at darkness, he is sitting on a rock beside the water. Kian stares into the fire, his face highlighted in the rain
"Please stay" she whimpers
"I'm disappointed in you Scarlett, you promised me"
"You made your choices" She replied.
You knew I didn't need him, even when my life was falling apart in front of my eyes.
"Perhaps your right" Scarlett said uncertainly, "How did it go so wrong"?
:iconyoullneverunderstand:YoullNeverUnderstand 1 0
I miss you
It's not even fair. You have it all and i'm stuck here with nothing. When you left you took with you almost every part of me. You took away my reason to breathe. Yet you don't even realize. Since you left, I've hardly left my room. Haven't left the house. Not if I could help it. You however, have hardly been home. I've heard about your adventures, all the places you've been. It kills me that i'm not there to experience it with you. I doubt you've ever given me a second thought. My name is just a name to you now. When before it meant so much. I believed in us, I thought you did too. Then bigger and better things came along. I never knew you were so fickle. I never realized there were so many things I don't like about you. I could list them, but it wouldn't make me feel better. It's all the bad things that made me fall in love with you. I so desperately wanted to help you, maybe even change you. There were good traits inside you, you just needed to bring them to the surface. I wish I had
:iconyoullneverunderstand:YoullNeverUnderstand 0 0
It all started on that fateful day six years ago. There, was that line good enough? When they told me to write about things, I didn't imagine it was going to be this hard. I knew it was never going to be easy. Maybe I didn't expect thinking about it to bring up as many emotions as it has. Anyway whilst trying to start the story, and all that was in my head was 'once upon a time' but I assure you this ain't no fairytale. Far from it. I guess I should introduce myself; otherwise I'll just be another person. I guess to you that's all I am. I have a name. Although I heard when people read books they give each character their own name, or relate them to a person they know. So I guess my name's not so important. Still, I should tell you that my name is Jennifer. Yeah, rubbish name I know. Blame the parents. (Something I quite frequently do). So, if you know anybody called Jennifer then you now have a picture of her in your head. Maybe I should paint you a picture of me? With words of course.
:iconyoullneverunderstand:YoullNeverUnderstand 1 0
I'm living life within these swarms of people,
but to me they are all just strangers by my side.
I'm laughing at the jokes that they find funny,
but secretly i'm breaking down inside.
I'm searching for a place where I belong,
but you're the only one who really makes me smile.
I'm hoping for the future that I dream of,
but I know I need to work for it and try.
:iconyoullneverunderstand:YoullNeverUnderstand 1 0
And now
The illusion has been shattered,
Thrown out the window,
Like that mirror that used to live on your chest of drawers.
You were like my mirror,
I saw in you all the traits I believed I held,
Good and bad.
I discovered alot about myself,
Whilst I was finding out about you.
Rumour has it 'opposites attract',
Maybe we were just too alike.
I didn't ever expect it to be like this.
End like this.
I picked up the pieces of the mirror,
I'm not sure I can do the same now.
:iconyoullneverunderstand:YoullNeverUnderstand 1 2
Person 3
I love you more than you'll ever know. You are my life, despite all the crap that comes in between. You make me so mega happy, that the crap almost seems worth it.
Things between us are complicated, but i'm beginning to get used to that. Every day is unpredictable, and the ups and downs are pretty huge.  Mostly it's my fault, and i'm trying to change.
But change takes time.
You've made alot of promises, i'm not sure you can keep. I wonder how long it will be before you get bored of my lies. I should stop lying really.
But i'm not used to telling the truth.
:iconyoullneverunderstand:YoullNeverUnderstand 2 0
Person 2
Sometimes I wish things had worked out differently between us. I often sit and wonder what would have happened, had obstacles not got in the way.
Had things not changed.
Maybe I would be happier, had I made a different decision. Although it's only your happiness that matters. I hope I was right to have left you so blissfully unaware.
To get on with your life.
I'm gonna try not to dwell on it. For had I wanted to change my decision I could have done, at any given moment. I still could, but i don't think I will.
Life goes on.
:iconyoullneverunderstand:YoullNeverUnderstand 2 0
Person 1
I used to think you had it perfect. Now I realise I may be wrong. Your just better at hiding everything than most people I know.
Makes me jealous. To be honest.
I've begun to realise you don't see what I see, but maybe i'm just seeing wrong. Whilst I was caught up in the perfection that you portray so damn easily.
To you it's just how your life has been.
Truth is, I don't know you well enough yet. Maybe you won't let me into your life, or maybe i just don't want to be there. I'm not entirely sure.
Guess we'll see what happens.
:iconyoullneverunderstand:YoullNeverUnderstand 2 0
11 People
1. I used to think you had it perfect. Now I realise I may be wrong. Your just better at hiding everything than most people I know. Makes me jealous. To be honest.
2. Sometimes I wish things had worked out differently between us. I often sit and wonder what would have happened had obstacles not got in the way.
3. I love you more than you'll ever know. You are my life, despite all the crap that comes in between. You make me so mega happy, that the crap almost seems worth it. Almost.
4. Everybody needs to learn to leave you alone. You may not be perfect(nobody is), but you know that. And your happy within yourself. Which is more than most people can say.
5. You need to learn to leave me alone. I need my own space, to make my own decisions and mistakes. I can be trusted, I just need you to give me my chance to show that.
6. When did we grow so far apart? I miss having you here by my side. We used to be so close, it's almost hard to believe that there was hardly a day when I didn't see you
:iconyoullneverunderstand:YoullNeverUnderstand 1 0
Dear You
Dear You
One day your life will get tough. Tougher than you seem to think it already is. All the little things he does to annoy you now will soon seem irrelevant. In fact you would give anything just to have him back in your life.
One day you will grow up, and learn to ignore the petty arguments, and unnecessary fights about nothing. You'll make real friends who understand you. And find a guy who loves you. Even if it doesn't seem possible now.
One day your life will change forever. There will be no turning back, and nothing you can do about it. Don't panic. Trust the people around you, they will help you through. Trust in yourself, you're not as bad as you may think.
One day you will question all your decisions, and wonder if things could have turned out different. You'll spend your nights trying to change the future, when all you really have to do is be yourself. That's what makes people love you.
One day your life will be your own. Even if now it seems like it's ruled by adults. You
:iconyoullneverunderstand:YoullNeverUnderstand 5 5
Sometimes I Forget
Sometimes I forget to breathe.
Hoping that it will make this last forever. Blocking out all glimpses of reality, and freezing time, Leaving us togethere, alone, if only for a second.As if my breathe is what makes the world go round, and whilst it stops, the world stops.
Sometimes I forget to listen.
Because i'm busy planning the future i'll never get.Knowing we will follow your plan, not mine. All the things I want that you'll never understand. Hoping i'll get them if I hassle you enough, even though I know you'll never give in.
Sometimes I forget to sleep.
So I can pretend i'm alone.Block out all people, and all the pain they cause. Be myself for a few hours, without fear of judgement. Before I have to go back to the torture of reality. All the emotions that are bad for your health, which are slowly killing me.
Sometimes I forget to smile.
Whilst i'm crying on the inside.You only want  me to smile,so you don't have to face the reality. So you can emit mental health from your
:iconyoullneverunderstand:YoullNeverUnderstand 0 0
My heaven
Is being in your arms
Being held close
So I can
Feel your touch
Memorize your face
Breathe your scent
So you can
Take away my problems
Vanquish all my fears
And take me to heaven
If only for a short time
:iconyoullneverunderstand:YoullNeverUnderstand 1 0
Break Away
If only you didn't have
Such a hold on me
If I could break away from you
Maybe you would see
That you have got me stuck
Here against my will
That I can't break away from you
Your love is like a pill
Now that i'm addicted
To everything you are
I'll never break away from you
I'll never stray too far
:iconyoullneverunderstand:YoullNeverUnderstand 1 0
Seeking Solace
Knock on your door
Seeking solace
You know I am
Away from the pressures
Of life and reality
Your place is
My little safe heaven
Where I know
I will never
Get turned away
Knock on your door
Seeking solace
You know I am
:iconyoullneverunderstand:YoullNeverUnderstand 0 0


break free by minikikiart break free :iconminikikiart:minikikiart 27 16 I know... by Alephunky I know... :iconalephunky:Alephunky 9,985 903 help me by LimpidD help me :iconlimpidd:LimpidD 12,870 1,551 1234. by this-is-the-life2905 1234. :iconthis-is-the-life2905:this-is-the-life2905 4,868 310 Pop by lovewrecked09 Pop :iconlovewrecked09:lovewrecked09 9 0
how did it ever come to this?
'are you crying?
'i thought-'
[the line breaks]
'that we were-'
'-that we were what?'
'something more than-'
'-more than casual sex?'
'you're perfect'
'for god's sake, please, stop saying that.'
'you're perfect. we could be perfect.
the last thing i wanted to do was hurt you.'
'it's my fault.'
'how can you say-'
'i was standing there.
i was watching, as you touched her more intimately than we ever did.'
'-and it felt like everything stopped.
i forgot where i was, my body stopped and my breath stammered out of my lips and i didn't notice my friends hugging me and the tidal wave of support. i still felt like i was free-falling.'
'i didn't know you saw.
just shout or something-'
'-i can't.'
'i don't want to shout'
'this is me doing what i want.
fucking listen, grit your teeth and bear it.
or would you rather i-'
'-stop it.'
'i hoped you'd realise that girl wasn't me, and you'
:iconflawedfairytale:flawedfairytale 29 25
Gemma Girl Next Door by je-fractallight Gemma Girl Next Door :iconje-fractallight:je-fractallight 40 10
"Ryan, hurry up!" Jessica called for her bestfriend
"Just a minute," Ryan lumbered after her at the top of a hill. "Lemme rest first!"
Jessica laughed. She put her hands on her hips as she looked up at the sky. It was beautiful. Clear even if there were a few stars. The fireworks were going to start any minute and she did not want Ryan to miss or forget this. She wanted him to hurry up; she was getting excited.
"You really should get out and run more often", She watched Ryan lie on the ground, panting. "Your stamina is---"
Ryan raised his hand as if to tell her to discontinue. He was the type of person who would stay indoors and play Dota all day.
"Thak you," he said while catching his breath "I will keep that in mind."
Jessica ran to him. She took his outstretched hand and pulled him to his feet. Then, she led-no-dragged him to the hilltop.
"Come one!" she urged "It's nearly 7:30!"
Ryan checked his watch. 7: 29. According  to Jessica, the fireworks would go off at 7:30. They
:iconbratitude123:bratitude123 13 14
SELF SOFTAIL PORTRAIT by ANOZER SELF SOFTAIL PORTRAIT :iconanozer:ANOZER 23 14 Photohunt: 'F' by FrostyMorningBliss Photohunt: 'F' :iconfrostymorningbliss:FrostyMorningBliss 2 3
how we just kind of float on
every five minutes, all of me stands still and waits for the inevitable: falling into quicksand and coming back as someone else. every day i'm a different person due to the additions of experiences to my life. one breath can change me drastically; one step forward and i might fall over. and the consequences? permanent damage to the face, develop an ugly fear of mirrors. and so i think about the concept of the future a lot. the invisible doors of experience that we are bound to walk through. thinking about the future is a funny thing. it's like sitting on a swing, swinging forward for a second, but coming back quickly to realize that you're still here.
sometimes at supper i'm honestly not there. i mean, i'm sitting there, but i'm really where my thoughts are. i guess they call that being there physically but not there emotionally or mentally or whatever. but that's kind of wonderful isn't it? because where are we then, when our minds are somewhere else?
i've been thinking about these pe
:iconawasteof-paint:Awasteof-paint 45 31
it's freezing and it stings my skin, but it's okay, because my hand's so warm from yours that it'll slowly heat the rest of me up anyway. a small voice in the back of my head tells me that it's rather late, but it's okay, because nothing's ever late with you. it's okay because your fingers interlace over the warmth of my belly, and somehow you pull me closer to you. it's okay because when your head dips into my collarbone, your hair tickles my face, and it feels amazing. it's most definitely okay because i can breathe you in and not have to feel desperate, because i'll have you forever.
we find a little scenic, secluded bench near a road overlooking the sea, and we spend a few moments watching bikes shoot by and listening to the dim roars of engines. your hands are still locked around my waist, but i don't remember that little fact when i told you to hold me and hold me tight. but you do anyway, without saying a word. i untangle your arms and turn around to face you, looking down at yo
:iconelectrickiss:electrickiss 17 7
"describe what you think love is," the professor says, gesturing for them to start.
"it's an everlasting adventure," a pimply boy says, voice trembling in just the slightest.
"love is like quicksand; the longer you stay in it, the deeper you are," a girl in pigtails mutters from the back.
the professor smiles.
"love is the key to happiness."
"love is never too small for anyone."
"love is a slice of heaven on earth."
"love is the only sane answer for our existence on earth."
"love is--"
"love doesn't exist," you cut in, and you leave the room.
:iconelectrickiss:electrickiss 35 32
smile even if your heart stops beating.
somehow you would always forget to
keep what you want to say in your head,
but sometimes it helps.
"i never planned to," [let go] he says, and you realize you've said it out loud.
you mutter i love yous into his
collarbone, and the rise and fall of
his stomach slows to a stop.
warm hands hold your face and he's kissing you breathless. "is that an i love you too?
you lie together and press yourselves
into each other, feeling the rhythmic
beat of both hearts.
"no," he murmurs [as his hand finds your heart], "it's an i love you  more."
your heart swells to a million times it's original size, and so does your smile.
:iconelectrickiss:electrickiss 30 31
dragging a dead deer up a hill
what do you do when your head is an aquarium and you know you're going to cry the whole damn tank out tonight.
I guess sometimes it feels urgent, like fingernails digging into skin.
it's the way we kiss when we finally have the chance.
it's an emergency sometimes, the way we kiss when my breath is on his cheek. like closing your eyes and your last memory drifts into the previous winter.
taking a photograph of her soul leaving her body.
holding a memory in your head and living there because, there, it is safe.
it is whispering that you're terrified through chattering teeth. what do you do when you want to speak but it is only tears that come out?
it's not like I can just grab your hand and put it on my heart. it's not like I could cut myself open and you'd see every emotion rushing through me. even if you somehow ever could, how would I know. how could you see it and show me that you completely get it. I'd see the pain in your eyes and I would see the way you'd wince, but I wouldn't see
:iconawasteof-paint:Awasteof-paint 48 40
warning: depressing
it's one of those moods where, if you were to paint the panic, you'd have to use your own blood just to make the colours honest. one of those moods where road kill does nothing to your insides and you can imagine every car on the other side of the road colliding into you. does it make you shiver? nope. one of those moods where your eyes hurt from crying and your eyelids are so heavy with these bullshit emotions. one of those moods where you ask yourself, "what is one more cut anyway."
it's the mood you feel after your mother calls you ugly and you know if you do just one thing to set her off, you'll get kicked out of here. which, at this point, is almost okay with you. it's the feeling you have when you're eating and you're sad and you just want to throw up. it's one of those moods where isolating yourself from everyone seems like your only option, and the idea of hitchhiking? you're totally up for it.
one of those moods where you don't fucking lie for once when someone on the phone at
:iconawasteof-paint:Awasteof-paint 84 79



- Available: No.
- Age: 17.
- Annoyance: Visa People.
- Allergic: Nothing.
- Animal: Dog.
- Actor: Seth Rogen, Owen Wilson.

- Beer: None.
- Birthday/Birthplace: 29th January, England.
- Best Friends: Seth.
- Body Part on opposite sex: Arms.
- Best feeling in the world: Love.
- Blind or Deaf: I can't choose.
- Best weather: Sunshine.
- Been in Love: Yes.
- Been bitched out?: Idk.
- Been on stage?: Yes.
- Believe in yourself?: Sometimes.
- Believe in life on other planets: Sort of.
- Believe in miracles: Not really.
- Believe in Magic: Idk.
- Believe in God: No.
- Believe in Satan: No.
- Believe in Santa: No.
- Believe in Ghosts/Spirits: Sort of.
- Believe in Evolution: Yes

- Car: None
- Candy: Skittles.
- Color: Red.
- Cried in school: Yes.
- Chocolate/ vanilla: Chocolate.
- Chinese/Mexican: Chinese.
- Cake or pie: Pie.
- Countries to visit: America, Italy and Japan.

- Day or Night: Night
- Dream vehicle: Idk.
- Danced: Yes.
- Dance in the rain?: Sometimes.
- Dance in the middle of the street?: Occasionally.
- Do the splits?: No.

- Eggs: Scrambled.
- Eyes: Are useful.
- Everyone has: Regrets.
- Ever failed a class?: No.

- First crush: Idk.
- First thoughts waking up: This morning? What time is it?
- Food: Pasta, Cheese, Chocolate.

- Greatest Fear: Losing the ones I love.
- Giver or taker: Giver
- Goals: Be happy in ife.
- Get along with your parent?: I guess.
- Good luck charms: A ring and a necklace I wear constantly.

- Hair Colour: Brown.
- Height: 5foot5ish.
- Happy: Not Really.
- Holidays: Summer.
- How do you want to die: In my sleep.
- Health freak?: No.
- Hate: Liars and fake people.

I - (In guys/girls)
- Eye colour: Any.
- Hair Colour: Any.
- Height: Taller than me.
- Clothing Style: Doesn't matter.
- Characteristics: Caring, Good sense of humour, honest, trustworthy.
- Ice Cream: Raspberry Ripple.
- Instrument: Guitar.

- Jewelry: Ring and necklace.
- Job: Cleaning.
- Kids: Eventually.
- Kickboxing or karate: Karate.
- Keep a journal?: Not really.

- Longest Car Ride: My house to London and back.
- Love: Seth.
- Letter: S and C
- Laughed so hard you cried: Yes.
- Love at first sight: Yes.

- Milk flavour: Strawberry.
- Movie: Easy A, Wristcutters:A love story, 500 days of summer.
- Mooned anyone?: No.
- Marriage: Hopefully one day.
- McD's or BK: McDonalds.

- Number of Siblings: None.
- Number of Piercings: Two(one in each ear).

- Overused Phrases: Idk.
- One wish: Be happy.
- One phobia: Dentists.

- Place you'd like to live: Califrnia.
- Pepsi/Coke: Coke.

- Quail: What?
- Questionnaires: Yes.

- Reasons to cry: Emotions.
- Reality T.V.: No.
- Radio Station: Radio 1.
- Roll your tongue in a circle?: No.

- Song: Anything by Paramore, Mayday Parade or Bo Burnham.
- Shoe size: 7.
- Sushi: Yes.
- Skipped school: Yes.
- Slept outside: Idk.
- Seen a dead body?: Yes.
- Smoked?: Yes.
- Skinny dipped?: No.
- Shower daily?: Bath.
- Sing well?: No.
- In the shower?: No.
- Swear?: Yes.
- Stuffed Animals?: Yes.
- Single/Group dates: Single.
- Strawberries/Blueberries: Strawberries.
- Scientists need to invent: Idk.
- Time for bed: It's only 12:28 am
- Thunderstorms: No.
- Touch your tongue to your nose?: No.

- Unpredictable: Yes
- Under the influence?: No.
- Understanding?: Mostly.

- Vegetable you hate: Brussel Sprouts
- Vegetable you love: Brocolli
- Vacation spot: Weymouth
- Weakness: Emotions.
- When you grow up: Travel, then settle down and have kids.
- Which one of your friends acts the most like you: Idk.
- Who makes you laugh the most: Seth.
- Worst feeling: Fear.
- Wanted to be a model?: No.
- Where do we go when we die: Idk.
- Worst weather: Rain.
- Walk with a book on your head?: No.

- X-Rays: Teeth.

-Year it is now: 2011.
-Yellow: I guess.

- Zoo animal: Monkey.
- Zodiac sign: Aquarius.


You'll Never Understand
United Kingdom
18 and never been happier.


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Corporal-Punishment Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for da llama!!!!!!!!!!!!!
lovewrecked09 Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2011  Student Photographer
Thanks for the fave :D and i like the dA journal :) i might do it
No problem, and awesome:)
flawedfairytale Featured By Owner Jun 6, 2011  Student Writer
Thanks for the favourite! :D
You're welcome.
pkginc Featured By Owner Jun 6, 2011  Hobbyist Photographer
Guess I won't understand, but thank you for the watch nonetheless :)
YoullNeverUnderstand Featured By Owner Jun 6, 2011
No problem :)
CherrieNova Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2011  Professional Photographer
Thank you for the watch!
metal-steffi Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2011  Hobbyist Photographer
Hey! :wave:

Just wanted to thank you for the :+fav:!

Feel free to check out more of my work, and start watching me if you like what you see!

If you do, make sure you start voting in polls and participating in journals so you will be part of my features!!

Much :heart:,
ebkido Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2010  Student Photographer
Thanks for joining :iconnanowrim0: Looking forward to next year!!
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